Welcome! sejeijc Susan Johnson

I write something because I want it to stick in my mind. So today is October 23rd and I'm almost at a week. A few weak moments, but all in all - not bad. Haven't hit a real stressor that would shoot me over the edge - but know it is waiting for me. It doesn't take much so I have to figure out my alternative to smoking. In the past week I've been painting - looks like something a 2nd time around 1st grader would do, but I'm sticking with it anyway. I am also hand quilting a baby blanket - even th… Continue

and I'm going to do this again. I quit then started back - just the same old endless cycle. I am embarassed and ashamed that I smoke and I can't seem to shake it. No one smokes anymore and NC is putting a ban on all smoking in restaurants/bars come January. There are endless commercials on tv about not smoking. I am a closet smoker - sitting on my back steps, alone, drinking coffee or alcohol - contemplating the world - all the really crappy stuff that makes me feel bad. Mostly now it is the sha… Continue

after 3 days at the beach. It is so sad to see them in their 80's struggling - although my mother remains feisty as ever. I haven't smoked and I went walking yesterday and today. OK - it wasn't very far, but I did walk. Tomorrow I have to make myself get on the treadmill here since it is way - way to hot to walk outside. I've not had a craving - in particular, but if I saw my brother light up a cigarette - it would be very HARD for me not to bum one. He is having a bad day today and I feel terri… Continue

never could get moving. Got up, ate breakfast, went to the couch woke up at 11:30, had to make myself go out. It is to hot here at the beach - I forget how brutal July/August can be. I have now gone at least 7 days with no exercise and have to HAVE TO start back. No matter how hot it is - I need to get out there tomorrow. I didn't really feel a need for a cigarette today, but that means nothing. It can come back in a flash. At least today I was too zoned out to even think about it.

Thanks for the comment re. cigs and anxiety. I know it has to be true. When I get all anxious all I want to do is sit and smoke and drink a glass of wine on the back steps. That sounds depressing huh? One thing just feeds into another. So far today - no cigarettes and I'm off to the beach to be around some non smoking friends so that is all to the good. Thanks for all the comments and support. You have no idea how much it helps.