Raychel's Page

Dear friends, I come back to join you today, not as a non smoker for 2.5 months as I should be, but as a non smoker for 3 days ....again. Yes, day 3 again. I relapsed a couple weeks ago and continued to smoke again for a couple of weeks. I guess I am just lucky that I got it again after a couple of weeks...instead of another year... or worse...several more years passing until I got it again.

I want to apologize if anyone read my entries as a non smoker and found it really motivational a… Continue

I've decided that I am going to try to make daily blog posts here, and really try to stay active on quit smoking communities because I need it right now! Lately my mind has been messing me with this whole smoking thing. I thought it would get easier, but lately for me it seems that it has become harder... what is up with that? Perhaps I am allowing myself to toy with the idea of smoking again for some reason, I don't know... it really is ridiculous.

I guess sometimes it gets to a point… Continue

Today sucked. That is pretty much all. Somedays there are down days in your quit. When you feel really frustrated and want everything to be easier and make sense like your are currently romanticizing that it was as a smoker. You think about buying a pack...you can almost feel yourself doing it. But you don't. Not every day is easy. There are some days, even further down the road than the initial first couple weeks, that you could easily go back to your addiction.
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I still hate dreams that I was smoking. I wake up and am seriously fearful for a minute that I actually did. I think I hate the dreams so much because the remind me one of the worst parts about being a smoker... well it was to me anyways, and that was how I felt upon waking up in the morning.

Uggh the feeling was so disgusting. Even if I had brushed my teeth insanely well the night before, still woke up with such a disgusting taste in the mouth. So much gunk in my throat, my chest. Didn… Continue

A funny thing happened last night... I finally didn't equate beer with cigarette. In fact a cigarette as a possibility didn't even cross my mind when the thought of beer crossed my mind. It wasn't until I popped the top of one and took a swig the memories of smoking and drinking came back to haunt me just a little. But I couldn't really fathom smoking one with my beer. It sounded... kind of gross.

I was looking back at my old quitnet journal that I saved when I attempted my longest qui… Continue