How Do I feel?

[Cindy Wilson]

When we quit our emotions are all over the place, when someone challenges your quit and leaves you because you quit, how do you react to that? I have cried, but I am really lost about this....

[DearLeigh]

Someone left you because you quit? WOW. That's insane. My husband would be scared of me when I told him I was quitting because I was such a b*tch in the past, but this time it was different. Reading that site and Allen's book changed it all for me. If someone left you because of you quitting - I'm sorry, they don't deserve to be in your life. With drug addicts, they have druggie friends and have to hang out with them because it's the only people they feel comfortable with. I think also it strokes their low self esteem staying with other users (losers?). That isn't worth much - the relationship - if someone LEAVES you over something like this, sorry to say. That's really crazy.
Maybe it just reinforced that persons feelings of inadequacy because you could stop and they can't?
BIG HUG FOR YOU!!!

[Cindy Wilson]

thanks Leigh, it really shocked me! We were supposed to move cross country to Texas and after I already sold the house he calmly announced this to me. He left me in a financial mess and really overwhelmed. My emotions are all over the place right now. I keep crying and I am angry too; I do not want to smoke, but these feelings are really smacking me. How do I deal with these emotions, before I smoked, but now I don't

[Giulia]

You deal with the emotions the same way you dealt with similar emotions before you ever smoked. Before we ever got hooked (and I don't care what age we were), we went through life just fine without a cigarette. If something hurt, we cried. No different now. Smoking will NOT take away the pain your are feeling. Don't make that fatal mistake.

[Cindy Wilson]

I'm not it is the emotions I am feeling, I have not felt since I was I guess 14, don't remember them so well and the feel lousy. How do you handle them

[Giulia]

I don't know, I just experience them and accept them. I accept that I'm feeling lousy. I cry. And sometimes I just cry until there's nothing left in the well. And when the well is finally dry, there's a sense of relief. If I'm angry, I go blow off steam somewhere. Could be punching a pillow or getting into the garden and yanking out weeds, or singing a song at the top of my lungs with made up lyrics which express how I'm feeling. Like a craving, an emotion will eventually pass. If emotions are new to you, then take this all as a learning experience. Often, if I can distance my brain enough from an emotion to remember to ask the question, I say to myself: what am I supposed to learn from this experience? This is supposed to teach me something - what? Sometimes it takes some digging, but if you reach deep down inside, you'll be amazed at some of the answers that come up as possibilities.

[Cindy Wilson]

I know it seems wierd to ask about feelings, but over the years I used smoking to hide or blank out the feelings, so now they are bum rushing me and I am not used to crying and crying and crying.....

[ctm]

Cindy.

I know this hurts now, but for someone to leave you because you quit is completely despicable. You deserve better than that. You've experienced a loss and will go through the various phases which are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. While each person is different, to a large extent, we have a great deal of control over the length of time we spend in each phase.

Cry, get mad and scream or punch a pillow and get it out of your system so that you can heal and move on. You WILL get through this and be a better person because of it.

(((((Cindy)))))

[Mary]

I am so sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself and God will help you. God Bless you!!

[Cindy O.]

When God closes a door, He opens a window! I had to go through the JERKS and heartbreak so I would and could , accept and love the good one that came along only when I was ready....

[Sandra]

Cindy, be glad this happened before you moved across country! We are all here for you for sure. How are you supposed to feel? You are supposed to feel like this is the beginning of a great new life! Hang in there!

[Lynne Welke]

Hey Cindy-

My thoughts are with you. What a raw deal...but stick with the program. Use us to help. I liked the suggestions left by others to let emotions out. Yell and cry into a pillow. Beat the pillow up until your exhausted.
Lynne

[Donna]

Hi Cindy, it sounds like you've a lot going on and i will pray for your continued recovery! It seems you've a lot of support here at EX and are using the site to help you. Keep it up! I was reading some of your other blog posts and it seems you have health probs as i do too and smoking isn't going to help any of it. I suspect there are other reasons for your break up and your quitting is an excuse that is being used against you. Remember - misery likes company and don't go back to fit in with someone else. It's scary for others when we're empowered to improve ourselves like quitting the smokes and when we gain control over our lives again people sometimes react in trying to keep the status quo. You said in your bio that you have children and grandchildren who you want to be there for and possibly it's the time to have a grandma sleep over??? Thank God you didn't move to an area where you wouldn't have any friends! My sister-in-law did that and moved to the middle of nowhere and after 3 long yrs he came home at Thanksgiving and said see u later! She was a mess but has picked herself up continued working on her master's degree and now will finish in another week! She was growing and he wanted to stay the same. I'm happy to say it is working out for her after many, many tears, and anger, and frustration but she's getting to the other side and realizing that people care about her and she will be ok as you will. Cry your tears, get angry and shout out the window, come here for support but don't pick up a smoke - that would be an excuse! I've read your posts before and they have helped me and now i hope we all will be able to help you and i hope you'll block out the noise of your addiction and hear that we are here for you and will listen. Hang in there - just for today!!! Blessing to you! D