Autobiography in Five Short Chapters, by Portia Nelson.
I. I walk down the street.
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.....I am helpless;
it isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place;
but it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in....it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV. I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V. I walk down a different street.
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This is something I wrote two months into my quit:
THE POSSIBILITY DOOR
"I haven't chosen not to smoke. Not really. If I had, I wouldn't have to fight the demon every day. It's because I've left the Possibility Door ajar in my mind. The door that
I could walk through at any time and return to smoking. The demon knows this and
keeps curling his bony, crooked finger, beckoning through that dark crack, tickling, torturing, coaxing, wearing me down.
But I'm on the side with the angel.
On the other side is the old me that smoked. And there too is the same Possibility Door. But from that side it's the possibility of quitting. And for those on that side it too is ajar. And the angel knows this and keeps shining the light through the crack and beckoning with gossamer wings, full of hope, tickling, coaxing, urging, praying.
It's a swinging door with well lubricated hinges. On one side the demon of slavery, on the other the angel of freedom.
One can walk from demon to angel and from angel to demon. We have free will and it's a choice we make.
What I must do now that I've walked into the light, is close the door behind me, lock it, throw away the key, and put up a barricade of such magnitude that the Possibility Door becomes a misnomer - from this side."
Which side are you on?