The Celebration Trap

[Giulia]

(photo credit)

It's a wedding, a birthday, a sporting event win, a job landed, a lottery number that came in big. It's when you are on top of the world and you want to go even higher. And you reach not for the goal of remaining smoke free, but for that cigarette. You'll just smoke one for the celebration. You won't really enjoy it, but Captain Hook will have grabbed you again.

[linda]

were having easter beer hunt at my house this year its something i started for the adults 10 yrs ago we hide eggs and give the kids kites but hide beer for the adults will have lots of smoker there but almost 1 mo into my quit now and know it could be a trap oh we also have a bbq afterwards everything is outside i may have to stay inside and prepare food ! ishould be off the lozenges by then have to keep some cinamon candy in case capt hook shows up

[Giulia]

Can I come over? Sounds like it's a whole lot of fun! 'Cept I'd rather crawl around on my hands and knees and end up with kite rather than the beer.

If you start to get a little crazy, just walk away from the smoker for a bit until you get your head back in order. Change the scenery. Grab somebody and take a quick walk. You might even ask one of those coming (one of the non-smokers) to help you stand firm. Asking for help is a way to stay out of any trap.

[linda]

of course all are welcome ! all the adults that want a kite get one its alot of fun. ill call it a snare not a forsure trap or a big black hole threre are a couple of people that dont smoke or drink they usually hide the beers we listen to joplin all the day just a bunch of treehuggin hippies

[Laura]

This is exactly what I am feeling and KNOW I will be feeling tomorrow. So, tomorrow is my birthday and my husband and friends are taking me to dinner. I picked a place that has great food and great margaritas. I'm not too worried about the alcohol because I usually can't finish one of those with all the food! What I am worried about is my best friend. She is a heavy smoker and since we've been friends for 20 years we are a lot alike...and she is a HUGE trigger for me. It is silly for me to be so worried about going out tomorrow since she is the ONLY one out of 10 people that will smoke...so it should be easy for me to ignore the cravings and have a good time with everyone that is not outside. But just talking to her on the phone and hearing her smoke gives me huge nic fits. So tomorrow will be day 12 for me and I am worried that since I will be celebrating my bday I am going to want to smoke...earlier today I was thinking that I haven't been a non-smoker on my bday for 12 years. Already that little nic demon is trying to get in my head!!! I pushed the thoughts away and went to the gym. It is helping to think of all the things that people have said and I know it will help me tomorrow.

[Giulia]

Man are you asking for trouble in my book. Too late to cancel the party, but that's what I would do. OK, so the scenario is set as is the trap. Don't delude yourself. It will NOT be easy to ignore the cravings.

What you want to hold in your mind ABOVE ALL ELSE is that THIS BIRTHDAY you WILL be smoke free. And that will be your birthday present to yourself. Hold it in you mind, in your heart, in your emotions. That THIS birthday will be different from all the others. That THIS birthday you can wake up the next day from and feel proud of yourself. That THIS birthday is the beginning of the new, smoke free YOU. That THIS birthday is the one where YOU became the support for your heavy smoking friend who wishes she could be like you.

I would suggest that because your friend is such a trigger for you that you lessen the contact with her for while. I'm not saying cut it off, but just lessen it. Tell her why you are doing so. If she's a great friend, she'll understand. And support that decision.

One other thing to keep in mind, I think is, we can create monsters that won't necessarily be there. You may be surprised to to find you DON'T feel what you think you will. Imagine a different picture. Imagine the you that is having a blast and not consumed with cigarette thoughts. What you project for yourself in your imagination, tends to come true. So project the best.

[Laura]

Thanks Giulia,

You are right about thinking positive thoughts...some good advice there. I appreciate the quick response!

[Giulia]

So how was the party? Did you stand fast or cave? Hope the former. Let us know.

[Laura]

The party was fun. I had a few drinks and held my ground. We were in a non-smoking place and my friend had to go outside a few times. When she came back in she smelled so bad. I was having really bad cravings after a few drinks and it was hard to sleep last night, I am going to avoid alcohol for a while longer! Thanks for asking!

[Giulia]

Glad you had a good time and didn't blow your quit. Booze can make us so fuzzy in the head. In more ways than one. Being in a non-smoking joint I imagine helps. Take it easy. And continue with care.