Poor Me!

[Mike in @lanta]

We enjoy feeling sorry for ourselves & the joy is even more justified if we can swing others to feel the same for us. "Oh you poor thing. Why don't you have a smoke? You can quit later." Or, “Why me, I enjoy smoking, why does it have to be bad for us? I don’t wanna gain a bunch of weight, Aunt Sophie smoked every day till she died at 94. It can’t be smoking that is causing all this cancer.”? We love it if our mood has changed during our quit & someone remarks that if we’re going to be so bitchy or such grumps then we should start smoking again. Anything for an excuse. We all know an Aunt Sophie but they are the exception to the rule.
At some point we have to face our fears & get past all the excuses because we really knew all along that you can count on one thing, if you smoke it will kill you.

[Mike in @lanta]

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
Without ever having felt sorry for itself.
-- D.H. Lawrence

To me feeling sorry for yourself is one of the greatest obstacles to to get over when quitting. We all think we're special, we all believe that our quit is somehow more difficult than anyone else's. The only thing that sets your quit apart from anyone else's is your attitude & willingness to accept the fact that you're an addict. Don't feel sorry for yourself because you're an addict. Celebrate because you recognize that fact & are making the comittment to do something about it.

[Giulia]

Thank you for this, Mike. Another gem.

[Sue Ross]

Good share - I can relate....Sue

[Cindy Wilson]

so seriously true, no excuses, sometimes they actually aggrevate me, especially when they are said repeatedly by the same people over and over. It kills me that the number one excuse is death in the family; well at least when you die from smoking, know someone else in your family will use you as an excuse too!

[Giulia]

Whoa, Cindy, that's one heck of a funny but cynical comment. It "kills" you that death due to smoking kills you. Oh yeah....

[Mike in @lanta]

Sad, funny AND true Sue. "My friend just died so I think I'll work on killing myself a little more." I'm sure if that person knew that we broke a quit in their behalf they would haunt us until a good quit took.

[angie h]

i know what u all mean.cigs killed my wonderful mother,she drank quite a bit too,so we always thought it was the alchol that would kill her,but it didnt it was cigs,lung cancer,she lived two wks after her diagnosis,this was in 06,i have 15 smoke free days,,people say why didnt u quit then after looing ur mom? I said i wasnt ready,I feel like dont quit for others i quit for me not for other people,because if i dont do it for me it wont wk,when i do it for me,others benefit in the end right along with me,Her death really scared me,made me realize i have to much to live for,pushing 50 i want to stay around ,mom died at 64,too young,the withdrawls are still eating at me so bad,theres days i want to smoke,so abdly,but i think i have some time now with out no smokes,why would i want to start over,to painful for me to do that,thanks all,angie h

[Giulia]

When we're ready, we're ready. It sounds like you're ready now. Better late than never. Be very proud of those 15 days because you have earned every one of them. As each of us have earned all the smoke free days we've garnered. And we all know the cost. But the price, the prize, is worth it. Health. Stay true to your cause. Stay true to your quit. And congrats on your perseverance.

[Ben]

I almost threw my quit away of 108 days tonight. I had a pity party for myself because im frustrated with my life right now. I almost made the mistake of buying apack of smokes and going back to my old ways. Here are the reasons I would of went back to smoking for.
1. Im hungry constantly now. Ive already gained 25 pounds but I lost 5 so far. Ive been counting calories and its been killing me because im always hungry now and the wieght still isnt coming off like it would if i was back smoking again. Ive been riding my bike to burn calories. Smoking =easy appetite control and weight lost.

2.Im flat broke at the moment. Im still working 3 days a week and my finances are driving me crazy wondering how im going to pay the bills. I would rob Peter to pay Paul but Peter has already been robbed. I couldnt afford to go back to smoking if i wanted to right now but some how going back to smoking would solve my financial trouble. yeah right.

3.my life in general and my shyness is driving me crazy right now. smoking would calm me down and solve my shyness. wrong again.

Im stuck in an rut right now and some how smoking would solve my problems. not realy but that was my thinking as I threw a pity party for myself. the only problem it might solve is being hungry constantly and wieght lost but smoking isnt going to give me six pack abs like i want so i would still have a huge belly. I hear rat posion will suppress a person apetite too, would I eat that to curb my appetite and lose a few pounds. No of course not so why would I go back to smoking (posioning myself) to control my wieght. damn it all. Not looking for sympathy or advice on this one . Just needed to get this out of my system.

[Giulia]

I'm stuck in a rut too. But there ain't a thought of a cigarette in it. I don't have any answers either, but I know for sure a cigarette ain't one of them. I was hungry all the time but that's finally fading. I've gained 15 pounds and exercise three or more days a week and it does nothing to take off the weight. Still I won't smoke. You're right, smoking again would probably enable all that weight to come off. If for no other reason than our bodies are spending all that energy on fighting the poisons. Still not worth going back and giving up this incredible freedom.

Sometimes life ain't anything we want it to be. Tough. That's life. And nobody said any of it was fair.

Vent away Ben.

[Lenna]

Here's my favorite...on a really bad day i say "your life is useless, so trivial, so not important, and so are you! so what the hell, smoke, who cares..no one!" That is my favorite poor me, nobody loves me I think I'll eat some worms...except it's not worms like we sang in that kids song, its cigarettes, booze, drugs, food, whatever....If I have a poor me day now, I tend to hide under the covers...ALONE!!!!! LOL cant get into too much trouble there. I have noticed that for me, a good nights sleep, sometimes two nights :) and I tend to rise out of it...anything above and beyond that, I know I need some outside help!!! thank god for this site and some very very special people here.

[Kathy]

Well said!