Poor Me!

[Mike in @lanta]

We enjoy feeling sorry for ourselves & the joy is even more justified if we can swing others to feel the same for us. "Oh you poor thing. Why don't you have a smoke? You can quit later." Or, “Why me, I enjoy smoking, why does it have to be bad for us? I don’t wanna gain a bunch of weight, Aunt Sophie smoked every day till she died at 94. It can’t be smoking that is causing all this cancer.”? We love it if our mood has changed during our quit & someone remarks that if we’re going to be so bitchy or such grumps then we should start smoking again. Anything for an excuse. We all know an Aunt Sophie but they are the exception to the rule.
At some point we have to face our fears & get past all the excuses because we really knew all along that you can count on one thing, if you smoke it will kill you.

[ChristineQuit2007]

I couldn't agree with you more!
Christine

[Marty]

Oh yea, Mike.

The most convincing arguement I used -- "Everyone is terminal -- no one escapes death."

A doctor friend of mine agreed with that, but he added, "The quality of the life is abysmal for a smoker during the last few years."

Let's all focus on the quality of life we really want as we age.

Marty

[Louise]

You are so absolutely right! Right on, for you and your doctor, that said that to you. Nicotine, is the MOST insidious addiction of all. For us to know people that have suffered horrific, suffocating deaths as a direct result of smoking and continue anyway is insanity!!!! My ex husband, (Friend of mine) and I watched his dear Mother, die a horrible death from lung and breast cancer and empysema 12 years ago!!! And he continues to smoke to this day even though he has Bladder cancer and Lymphoma himself. Abysmal indeed. I am forever grateful for this site and the many supportive people I have found since quitting. I am proud to be able to say I'm an EX on this matter!!! Let us all focus, on what is real and true and that is we only get to go around once... At least this time, in this world!! Thank you all.

[Debbie Bishop]

I went through this for years. I'd quit and start back. When I turned 50 I know the health problems would be starting big time. This summer I had enough. I decided to fight with all I had. I bought gum but still needed something for the hand to mouth thing. Found the easy quit on the internet. It's a fake cigarette which you put mints cartridges in. That helped me so much. I've made it three weeks and this has been the easiest so far. I'm just so sick of it. My son is playing in the band at Mississippi State this fall and I don't want to be sick and miss any games. I feel you will quit then you've had enough but it has to be your time. My mother quit at 65 after two heart surgeries. She's been quit 9 years and says she never misses it. If she hadn't quit we would have lost her years ago. Hang in there and remember you are worth it.

Moochie

[Mike in @lanta]

A huge congrats on the 3 week quit Debbie. Hey...we do what must be done to remain smoke free & tell your Mom we're all proud of her too. I'm glad you're gonna make to those games for your son.

[Mike in @lanta]

We made those statements so boldly knowing we didn't really feel the conviction of them. When I had to have a chest x-ray I was reduced to a whimpering coward. No we're not that ignorant & yes it was the addiction. We just didn't want to or were afraid to see through that nicotine haze.

A huge congratulations on 2 smoke free months Debbie. How great is life now?
We had better protect our quits...it may be our last chance. We just never know.

[Celeste Faris]

Thank you for those inspiring words - "protect our quits". I just now wrote them done as part of my 'plan' to quit smoking. I feel certain your words will wind up in a sticky note on one of my kitchen cabinets.

[ChristineQuit2007]

Today my husband and I volunteered at a huge Festival. We live within driving distance to a place called the City of Festivals in the Midwest.... ethnic festivals with big name acts (music) and incredible food all summer long. It was my first real big exposure in the last nine quit months to a mass of people who may or may not be smoking.

I have to say that I was really feeling so blessed and lucky that I am quit! The awful smell and the looks of dependence and addiction of those walking past us repulsed me. And, I rejoiced in those feelings of repulsion... How great. Nothing about those butts interests me.

I remember the times when the smell of smoke would trigger me to start scratching around for my butts... but no more. However, I'm not going to take these feelings for granted. I agree with everyone here to be in PROTECT mode from now on.

[DearLeigh]

You know, Christine89, I know what you mean - I too now look at smokers like they are dependent and (just a bit pathetic) and it is repulsive. WOW - it was a revelation for me how I got to the point where I thought it looked tacky and low-tone. Me - the biggest smoker of them all.

[ChristineQuit2007]

Wow, I posted this almost a year ago! LOL But, glad we're of the same mind!

[Giulia]

Fabulous post, Mike. The Poor Me Trap. And one we don't want to fall into.

[Louise]

Hi Mike, I like your Challenge in Relapse Traps. I think it's great idea and one that will really support the purpose of this group. Count me in! I have a friend that told me the other day, that she liked me much more when I smoked.... This is a friend of 25 years! A friend, that on one hand, says she is proud of me for trying to quit and then the next day or so makes a comment like that! Nicotine addiction, is so very insidious... I'm simply keeping my distance for the time being.