I just realized something about being in the closet!

[Valerie]

Hello
I like most closet smokers, hide it due to shame. I have been this way for a long time and I realized recently how every time I meet someone new, under my surface is shame. Shame of who I am and what I do. Shame of my dirty little secret. I realized how horrible that is. Right away when I meet someone I am hiding something. Wow! What a cocktail for defeat.

Being smoke free will free me. Free me from shame and feeling like I have something to hide about myself. I am waking up!
:)Valerie

[Steve L]

Valerie - I can truly relate to that feeling of shame and at the same time pretending to my family that I quit smoking. But they know without me telling them, which makes the shame worse. But you were very positive about waking up and feeling free from shame - and BEING SMOKE FREE without that burden. You have inspired me to wake up myself and work a program that free's me from the lies - shame - closet smoking - and truly is a SMOKE FREE BETTER LIFE! You can do this and if you can then I will be inspired to work my own program.
Take care and may God's will be with you.
Steve L

[Valerie]

Hi Steve. Thank you for taking the time to post. Yes, we can do it! For so long now I have been wanting it and picturing myself as a non-smoker. This coming Friday the 23rd is going to be my quit date. I have never totally cut out cigarettes before, but my intention is to take it one day at a time, and perhaps one moment at a time in the beginning. From what I read once you put in all the effort and discipline in quitting you never want to go through a quit again so you are less likely to start back up. We can do it! Keen in touch! Blessings to you! :)Valerie

[Bobby H]

I'm a closet puffer also - getting ready for the big day. It's good to find people that I can commiserate with...

[tricia]

OMgosh. It's such a relief to hear someone say what I felt. So here goes...I was in the closet except for my smoker friends. And I quit December 2. Not having the shame feels great. Not hiding from my kids, or waiting for them to go to bed is liberating. Now I enjoy spending time with them at night instead of wishing they would go to bed so I could smoke. Cuddling is a great replacement for smoking!
It was easier and better than I thought, in spite of quitting before. I do have to try not to shove everything in my mouth, but knowing I am not lying to my kids and not setting a bad example for them is worth it. Hang in there!

[Stephanie]

You really struck a chord when you said, "waiting for them to go to bed so you could smoke." I do the same thing, which is more shameful than the smoking itself! I quit for a long time before I even tried to get pregnant, then with each child somewhere around their toddlerhood it snuck up on me again. Sort of a coping mechanism to keep all the plates spinning, I guess, that's what I tell myself. Then if someone gets out of bed and comes looking for me, I'm kinda standoffish hoping they won't smell anything. Sneak through a back door into my bathroom for a "cleaning routine". In one way I'm protecting them from 2nd hand smoke, bad example, etc. in another way I'm not as good of a parent as I could be because of all the hiding, HORRIBLE! And how will I explain a smoking related illness to them someday, they would fell pretty hurt I would think. I smoke 4 to 5 cigs a day, I'm getting ready for the big day.

[Betty]

Valerie - Boy, can I relate to this. The people I worked with didn't know I smoked until the nasty habit took hold and I had to make use of my break to go have a smoke. It really is a dirty little secret that I am ashamed of and so very tired of. It will truly be wonderful to be free of being a smoker and having to hide it. Hang in there!

[Closet Case]

Valerie,,, I too hide in shame, with the exception of my smoker friends. I'm trying to figure out how to do this because every time I do think of quitting,, I get all stressed out about it... I know I need a plan, but seems hard to do... really need support but again, because I'm in the closet it makes it much harder.