a friend of mine

[SALLY]

a close friend of mine talks about quitting smoking. i am unsure that he really wants to quit smoking. i know he needs to quit smoking because his 2 1/2 pack a day addiction is outrageous in more ways than one. he followed my example with the gum two weeks after i quit. he did very well for three days until someone dropped off some money they owed him and he chose to spend it on cigarettes. he is still talking about quitting. i cannot tell though if he wants to or if he just knows he should. At some point during my addiction i had to come to terms with that- that is am i really ready to quit or am i just doing it because i can't afford it, because i know i should but really dont want to or whatever other reason. so at a certain point i contiued to smoke but i thought about what i was doing everytime i did and eventually i found my reasons to stop- to let it go and be done with it. concerning my friend and really all my friends who smoke- i continue to explain to them that it wasnt as hard as i thought it would be, i think we often fear it will be worse than it is and that they should contiue to consider quitting as well. maybe attempt after attempt is what we need to get serious. maybe its the contiued failure that drives us to succeed.
bottom line- 2 1/2 packs a day is alot but how should i approach aiding my friend.

[Doreen]

Sally, approach your friend straight up, no holes barred - Talk is cheap, Actions speak louder than words. He either wants to quit or he doesn't - there is no in between. You know that other saying - Either Sh*t or get off the pot. Mollycoddling his addiction isn't going to help him at all. If you are struggling with your quit as a result of his continuance, you have the choice to back away from him until you feel stronger. Don't let his hem hawing and indecisiveness ruin your quit.

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